By Brian H Meredith
From the NZBusiness Magazine
"Marketing Maestro" Archive.
First published March 2002
“We at McKinsey no longer believe that western business needs to be told what to do. It simply needs to do it” President McKinsey & Co
Translation? Business isn’t hard to grasp. Good business isn’t much harder to grasp.
So why aren’t more business just getting on and doing it?
I have just arrived back in Nelson from a short trip to Auckland to give a KeyNote Presentation at a Conference. I caught a cab from the Airport to my hotel. Flash sort of a hotel with a new flash sort of a name and, as it turned out, a flash new set of front doors to match the flash new name.
We arrived in the rain but were unable to reach the front door of the hotel in the cab as the undercover drive was chock full of huge tour buses, each empty, each appearing to do nothing more than make a bloody nuisance of themselves.
No porters. Carried my own bags. Got wet and breathless.
Went to check in. Asked if I wanted a smoking room. “Yes please”
(Please don’t be too harsh on me about the smoking thing - ciggies are really all I have left. I hardly drink, I am married so I don’t have sex and well, that just leaves the unmentionables)
Anyway, checked in, found a porter and headed for my room. My Non-Smoking Room! For reasons I simply do not understand and despite being asked and replying quite clearly, I had been allocated a non-smoking room. Called the Front Desk.
“Oh, don’t worry. Just ignore the sign. It is definitely a Smoking Room”
“But I don’t like ignoring signs. I was brought up proper. To do what I am told. Not to argue. See the sign and comply. That’s what I was taught. And anyway, I don’t have an ashtray”
“No problem. I’ll send one up”
Continued with my arrival ritual, unpacked my bags (hate living out of a suitcase – always unpack everything).
Plugged the jug in, tore open the collection of paper sachets needed to produce a cup of coffee. Plugged in and set up the laptop and even managed to get the modem working (no mean feat in hotel rooms).
Still no ashtray
Rang Banqueting to ask them to arrange for a whole, fresh salmon to use as a prop in my KeyNote the next afternoon (don’t ask – long story) only to be greeted with the reply:
“Oh no, we can’t do that” delivered with the immediacy and the tone that suggested that this would be an illegal or immoral act on their part and could not possibly be countenanced.
Recovering from my surprise (this was, after all, a flash sort of a hotel with a brand new and flash sort of a name and did have a bunch of stars which excuded (is that how you spell excuded?) a certain level or expectation and promise), I managed to ask “Why?”
“Its not enough notice”
“Its almost 24 hours notice”
“Yes, but its not enough”
“But I could head down to the seafood store at the bottom of town and get one myself. In fact, I’ll do that – sorry to have troubled you”
“Well, I could ask Chef”
“No, I’ll go and buy it myself”
“Are you sure? I would be happy to ask Chef”
“OK then – ask Chef”
Less than 5 minutes later I was told the Salmon would be delivered at 8am the next morning (considerably quicker than the 24 hours that were available), how much it would weigh, what the price per kilo was and where it would be stored in the hotel and how it would be made available to me when needed!
(Still no ashtray)
Now sweating (literally). Air-conditioning in room not functioning properly (if at all). Auckland mid-summer. Low cloud, rain and high 20’s centigrade and I’m in a hermetically sealed room with no air-conditioning (or ashtray).
Finally called the Assistant Manager.
Wasn’t at all grumpy. Simply explained, very politely, that I had trouble reaching the door of the hotel, had trouble staying dry, had trouble getting my bags carried, had trouble getting the kind of room that I wanted, had trouble getting an ashtray (in fact, still hadn’t got the ashtray), had trouble getting a salmon and was now having trouble getting cool (in fact, would never get cool in this room).
“How hard can these things be?” I plaintively asked. “Are these unreasonable expectations of a guest in your flash pub with the flash new name and the flash new doors?”
Well, this guy was a hero. He will go far (if I ever have anything to do with it).
He quickly advised that my expectations were by no means excessive or unusual – they were, in fact, perfectly normal and reasonable and the hotel should have met every one of them with ease, charm and style.
Within 10 minutes, I had been moved to a new room. A new smoking room. A new smoking room with more ashtrays that you could shake a stick at. And a new room with air-conditioning that could have cooled an entire continent. (And, what’s more, a porter came up and shifted my bags for me as well as bringing the new key).
Now, great recovery by the hotel. Thank you.
But it shouldn’t have happened in the first place and it is happening in business through the country as we speak.
Too many businesses are not getting the basics right.
You know who you are. You don’t need to be told what to do. You just need to do it. Even if only because McKinsey says so.
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